bozo's return

An Homage to Humph

Only fans of the show will get this - but who cares.

Some new definitions found from a recent perusal of the dictionary.

 

Delivered ~ Someone whose body has been harvested of vital organs

Emulate ~ Why the big bird isn't at the party yet.

Sealed ~ When an amphibian sneaks up on you in the street and slaps you with its flippers

Igloo ~ What you repair your iPod with

Ibrox ~ A container dyslexics use for storing excess mp3 tracks

Etruscan ~ a race of ancient Italians who still exist in cyberspace

 

Us Mean-Spirited Christians

I know a lot of Bozo Readers struggle with the concept of God, let alone the worship of God. So You folk may as well stop reading now - this one is not for you.

Those of you who get the concept of God will understand that we believe He is in charge. He made the universe, the world and everything in it and us.

That means it is His world not ours [although he does give us control over it - an aspect of the deal I am sure He often regrets as He looks at the mess we are making of it].

That means we accept that it is His morality that rules, not ours.

Our society and laws [in this country at least] allow you to freely decide that your morality is more valid than God's.

But if you take this option and want to make your own judgements higher morally than God's. Why would you want to come into His house and celebrate your same sex marriage anyway?

The Times in its article on Saturday strongly implied that not wanting to celebrate same-sex marriages in Church premises was "mean-spirited" [I cannot imagine what Jeremy Clarkson is if we are mean-spirited].

It also implied that gays and lesbians are not welcome in Church. I cannot speak for every Church, but in all the Church's I know gays and lesbians are as welcome as I am. Because like me, they are sinners.

Like all of us they are sinners. As St Pauls says - all have sinned, all fall short of the glory of God. This means that all the Churches I have ever worshiped in are full of sinners!

Jesus died so our sins would be forgiven - not so that they would stop being sins and become "OK".

We go to Church to worship and adore God - to thank Him for His forgiveness and to ask Him to help us to stop sinning and stop making the sad mess of our lives that most of us achieve.

Any gay or lesbian is welcome to come with me to do that. And will be as loved by God as I am - and I hope, by His grace be as loved by our congregation as I am. We have all sinned. We are none of us better than you in God's eyes.

What we don't want to do, however, is celebrate our sin in Church.

If a bunch of us married blokes go down the pub and have a few pints and spend the evening lusting after the single women there - and then go and watch some porn we don't ask the vicar to hold a ceremony celebrating it!

We go to Church and place our sins before our very merciful God - and He forgives us. Anyone is allowed and weclome to do that. God will forgive any and all who believe in jesus Christ as Lord and saviour - no matter what they have done. And most of us have done plenty. Church is a place for sinners to go to confess sin and celebrate forgiveness.

I am not against same-sex marriage. I would happily go to one and have a great time. But God makes little secret of the fact that He thinks same-sex relationships are wrong. Forgiveness is freely available. Condoning is not.  So if you want to come into my Church at least have the decency to accept that even if His morality doesn't count for much in YOUR WORLD - at least let it still counts for something in HIS HOUSE.

This does not make us mean-spirited.

You are allowed to protest against BP's drilling of oil - but they won't let you do it inside the foyer of their St James Square HQ.

You are even alllowed to protest against parliamentary democracy (or the fiddling of expenses by MPs) but they won't give you permission to do it INSIDE the House of Parliament.

You can protest against the Monarchy - but they won't give you permission to do it in Buckingham Palace.

Live your morality - but if you want to celebrate in God's house - at least have some respect for His morality.

I think Christiians are a highly persecuted minority in our country these days. And we are so far from mean spirited about it.

We do not demand (like they do in Iran) that ours is the only religion allowed and sentence the preachers of other religions to death (like they do in Iran)

We do not demand (like many right-wing politicians in the US) that prayer in school is compulsory.

We do not even demand that the BBC stop showing programmes which have scripts that make use of our Lord and saviour's name in the form of a swear word!

You may notice that script writers don't disrespect the Moslem faith that way.

I cringe every time i hear a character on film or tv say J...C  in the same tone as they might say F..F..S.

As if using the Lord's name as a swear word is less offensive than the F word!

Offensive to who?

There is politically correct respect in this country for just about every religion in the world - except the worship of Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour.

If you want to tell our God that He is wrong, and that your morality is more valid than His - fine do it.

But don't do it in His house.

 

Where are they Now?

I have - for some time, been wondering about a few people from the original days of Bozo (which was it saddens me to recall DECADES ago!)...

 

So, if anyone knows where any of these folk are get them to email Bozo please!

 

Henry (Jon) Peevers

Stephen Penrose

Richard Hennah

Stephen Openshaw

Gary Eels

Ali Dashti

Durraj Tase

David Blackburn

David Revel

David Axtell

Gerry Duffy

Greg Cave

Rajan Iyer

Ged Corbett

Thanks folks....

Broken Britain

You know - if I had a shop - I'd be pretty angry if a bunch of kids smashed the windows and nicked my stock.

Angry enough to want them locked up.

I think it is clear that moral values in Britain are deeply flawed right now.

The best recent example though is not an under-educated, unemplyed yobbo nicking a few pairs of trainers. It's the Secretary of State for Defence.

 

It really doesn't matter that security might or might not have been breached. (well OK it DOES matter - it's just not relevant to my point). What matters is that Mr Fox's moral compass is so skewy that he thinks it is Ok to take his best mate on a few jollies which serve to use the Secretary of State's position in global business and politics to provide a benefit to the image, reputation and deal-making abilities of someone whose only qualification for receiving such a benefit is that he is Liam's mate.

You may think that having safe streets is more important, you may think that looting is worse than using your political position to benefit your mates.

But I think if we have a society that condones one set of abject moral failure.

then we condone abject moral failure on every level.

If we don't have a new Secretary of State soon - then we have a government that had better keep its mouth shut about moral values.

 

 

Role Models

Read in the metro just now that poor Charlie Simpson (he of busted and fightstar) lost 10,000 cds that were about to go to the retailers in a riot fire. Charlie says its wrong for people to lose their livelihoods.

I like Charlie. And I agree with him. I also think its wrong for people to lose their homes.

In this current recession. Triggered by giving banks gazillions in bail outs. I know several small businesses that have gone to the wall. My own small business has teetered on the brink.

It wasn't less heartbreaking for those people whose businesses went down due to a Banking nightmare. It wasn't less heartbreaking for those who were made redundant and had homes repossessed. It was just less televised.
They too were victims. We just haven't cared enough to lock up the perpetrators.

You can be an MP and steal (yes steal) from the public purse by fiddling your expenses. And you are very unlikely to go to prison.
Great Role Models!

You can be a media mogul or a major editor and break the law and bribe policemen. No one will end up in jail. Not even the corrupt policemen.

Great Role Models!

You can bring down the economy of the whole country through some un provable cocktail of greed fraud and total stupidity in banking. No one locked up

Great Role Models!

Unemployed? No future? Broken Home? Live in a ghetto ruled by gangs?

Prison for you mate.

 

I think Gordon Brown's government will always be remembered as the most stupid.  Well Tony's too with Gordon cocking it up as Chancellor.

 

But will the Coaltion be forever remembered as the most uncaring?

 

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Hope...and no hope... business ... and society

I just want to say I find it much easier to accept what the rioters have done than to accept what News International did - and to accept what the banking community did.

 

Because the government's fear of the mobility of the rich leads them to make the poor pay for the deficit and that is plain wrong. You may feel that rioting is worse than defrauding the public purse of several billion pounds - but I don't.

 

I am not condoing rioting. It scares me as much as it scares you. And no one really thinks that two wrongs make a right.

But let us accept that in the 13 years of LABOUR government the poor got poorer and the rich got richer.

I have heard people say - we need to recognize and encourage those high earners who generate the real growth of wealth in the country.

Well why?

Because since 1997 the real growth of wealth in this country has not benefitted all the pople in this country has it?

So why should anyone who isn't benefitting give a fig (for want of a better word) about encouraging high earners?

I have repeatedly said in these pages that if we keep driving the poor down lower and lower because we are too scared to make the rich pay more than they do - we will create a society that will be much worse than we have now - and which will make the riots of the last few days look mild.

You know why?

Because society never stomachs injustice for long. Whilst it is true that the great reactions against injustice in 1789 and 1917 created pretty awful totalitarian governments - it is also true that they succeeded because ordinary people rose up.

If you think the bonus pay out in the city this year was justice then you are dim.

The greed, mendacity and lack of ethics in the City is at the heart of all the problems we face.

The whole of Europe is not in financial crisis because governments spend too much money on supporting single mothers.

It is in crisis because of the greed of people who already have lots of money.

If you don't want a society that burns and loots - you need to accept that your two car two home million pound pensuon pot lifestyle may have to suffer a percent or two of extra tax.

So pay it - or sod off to Zug and build a really big wall around it. And hire a lot of security guards. And find some time to read a history book or two.

 

But there is one source of hope....  and His hope never fails

 

 

Trumpet Blowing

OK 

First off - Apologies for the lack of words (of wisdom or otherwise).

I have composed so many pieces on ethics in the wake of News International - and opublished none of them.

Why because its peeing into the wind.

No one cares about ethics - that's why (to quote clever Mrs Bozo) the markets are going to hell in a hand basket.

You don't think it's ethical?

Then you are dim.

What it also is of course is very very predictable.

What  YOU didn't predict the collapse? 

YOU were one of those imbeciles buying it up?

Oh dear... well refresh your memories on what Bozo told you on 08 April 18 weeks ago.

Bozo Blog 08 April "Assets"

The only alternative to socialism

Here are some basic facts:

• According to the National Statistics website the average salary in the UK in 2010 climbed to £26,000 a year.
• According to the Land Registry website the UK average house price is £161,000. Or about 6.t times the average man's salary.
• A Ford Focus basic model will cost you about £16,000.
• A VW Polo will cost you about £10,000.
• So lets say an average kinda family car will cost the average salaried guy 50% of his salary.

Of course we havent allowed for the tax this man will pay. But that be about £5,000 right?

Let us compare this with a person earning £1,000,000.

• An average home is about 1/6 of that persons salary.
• So if the millionaire decides to own property equivalent to the same proportion of salary as the average salary dude i.e 6.2 times... well thats property worth £6.2 million. Which amounts to a garage or so more than 38 homes.
• A Ferrari comes in at about £175,000. This is a lesser proportion of the £1,000,000 than a ford focus is of £26,000!!!
• In fact a Ferrari is 17% compared with the Focus being 61%!!!!

Let's do this comparison with the average salary man having £21,000 after tax and the £1,000,000 having £500,000 after tax (yes i know they pay less tax than that)

The average family car is now about 75% of averahe salary.
The Ferrari is now about 33%.  Stll much lower.

The average home is now 7.7 times average salary and the £1m guy can now only buy 3 of them.

It doesnt seem to me that tax is dragging this bloke back very much? It seems to me that tax is a bigger issue for the average salary person than it is for the £1m man. But that is because I think that if you can afford to buy 6 average homes with your annual salary then you are rich. He theoretically carries a bigger cash tax burden. But given what he gets left with his burden is not what i call I burden. I think you are rich if you earn £1m.

But you probably don't!

I was listening to the amazing John Ortberg and came acorss some amazing facts alongside his usual enlightenment.

He says (and I take him at face value) that Fidelity did some research in whch they asked 1,000 millionaires ($ not £) "Do you feel rich?"

40 % responded NO!

The average net worth of the 1,000 surveyed was $3,500,000. And when asked how much they would need to have to feel rich the answer avergaed out at $7,500,000.

But guess who said that $7.5 million wouldn't make them feel rich?

YUP you're right... those with $7.5 million say they don't feel rich.

And of course if you don't feel rich then you don't feel you should contribute more.

In fact, if we analyse GIVING (as opposed to being taxed) we can see you actually contribute LESS!

In the US, John Ortberg says a survey reveals that those earning UNDER $25,000 give away 4.2% of their money.

Those who earn OVER $100,000 give away 2.7% of their money.

No, I wasn't surprised either. Statistical fact - those with more are less generous than those with less. A lesson I learned in Soweto, Botswana and Tanzania.

Now, Capitalists keep telling me some things...

They tell me capitalism is proven to create wealth. They tell me that socialism was discredited and has never worked.

OK>>>

What has the success of capitalism given the world as a whole?

Sod all basically.

In the last 20 years (since the demise of the Soviet Bloc) the rich have got richer and the poor have got poorer! Capitalism has indeed created a lot of wealth. But only for 0.01% of the world's population. Even in the US 1% of the population control 95% of the wealth. The one success of the Soviet Bloc was that so long as it existed the rich and the government cared a lot more about the fate of the poor because the poor were seeing an alternative. Now there is no alternative the rich shrug their shoulders.

Or they think the rich is those other guys with more than £1,000,000

More than £7,500,000....

2,000 years ago a man agreed with the capitalists that Goverment should not be supporting the poor. He suggested however that the rich should do it directly. This does not seem to be very popular though, mainly of course because "i am not rich, the other guy is rich."

I speak to Republicans, Tea Partiers and Tories generally. I agree with you big government doesn't work,

But the success of your beloved capitalism has not eradicated poverty and until it does the world is not a place anyone can live in with comfort. And if you don't want government to do it then YOU do it. And not with 2.7% of your millions either.

 

Management Matters (still)

Regular Bozo readers will know he is a baseball fan.

They will also know he is a great admirer of the management skills of Joe Maddon - the manager of the Tampa Bay Rays - and has quoted him and his wisdom on this blog in the past. Well I have no quote from Joe today but it is time to give him another accolade.

Last year everyone said was the Rays last big chance to win something. Many of their stars had contracts expiring and they would all walk off into the sunset to get big contracts that Tampa could not afford to give them. That the team would be broken up, that it was back to square one for Maddon and Tampa, if not square zero.

The first nine games seemed to prove that was true. The team did indeed lose almost all of its best position players. Most of its relievers and was 1-8. Bottom of the division after nine games on April 10th.

Since then...poor denuded undermanned Tampa has won 22 and lost only 8.

They are now 23-16.

They are now top of their division ahead of the biggest salaried teams in Baseball (The Yankees are second, two winw behind, and the big spending Red Sox remain under .500 and still flirt with bottom of the division).

To my mind this is all about Joe Maddon's knowledge. Both of the game, and of management.

There are some big similarities between sport and business. Key people get paid a lot, sometimes they get paid so much that managing them becomes hard.

When i was trading it was always the case that managers in a trading room had to be great traders or no one would respect them.

It's kind of understandable.

it;s also utter cods.

If you look at great sporting managers and ask them to show their player's medals, you can be disappointed.

Alex Ferguson, Arsene Wenger, Jose Mourinho... no great success as players

Joe Maddon, no great success as a player.

But they can manage, They understand their jobs intellectually.

And they know how to create a winning team.

And guess what... unlike the other names I mentioned, Joe Maddon's winning team isn't the highest paid team in their sport.

This makes Maddon superior (in my mind) to Fergsuon and Mourinho by far.

The question for you folks in business is this.

What sort of manager are you?

A cheque book manager?

Or a good manager?

 

Civil Service Glory

It is hard to argue against the proponents of small government sometimes...

because the big government so rarely covers itself in glory...

 

Sent in by Bozo's Antagonist...

Wooley - MOD

Whilst looking at various elements of the Ministry of Defence, the Public Accounts Committee called the Ministry Of Defence’s Trevor Woolly for questioning.

What follows is an extract of a verbatim exchange at the start of his interview:

MR RICHARD BACON MP (CON, S. NORFOLK): Mr Woolley, are you a chartered accountant?
MR WOOLLEY: I am not.
BURTON: Are you a qualified financial person of any kind? Do you have any financial qualifications?
WOOLLEY: I do not have financial qualifications
BURTON: What is your job?
WOOLLEY: I am the finance director of the Ministry of Defence.

Classic!