Houston we have a problem (we just don't know what it is)...

As a consultant you get used to the fact that when you tell someone what you do (unless you precede it with "neurosurgical") you get a sneer.
Not as bad as estate agents or investment bankers. But a sneer. Recently this was accompanied with the tired old gag:
"Oh right. One of those blokes who borrows your watch and then charges a fortune to tell you the time!"

Well I decided to explore this to its logical end:
Me: "so why did you hire someone to tell you the time if you already knew it?"
Loser: "I didn't hire them my boss did"
Me: "so your boss didn't know the time?
Loser: "presumably not"
Me: "so why didn't your boss just ask you the time?"
Loser: "well you will have to ask my boss that!"
Me: "ah! Now I see your problem. Your boss hired a consultant to find out the time but what he should have done was hire a consultant to sort out your internal communications problems!"
Loser: "we don't have communications issues its just management don't have a grasp of what goes on in the front line"
Me: "so can I ask. Why don't you tell them?"
Loser: "more than my jobs worth to approach management like that,"
Me: "ah! Now I see your problem. Your boss hired a consultant to find out the time but what he should have done was hire a consultant to sort out your cultural problems!"
Loser: "we don't have cultural problems! Its just the boss won't listen to anybody!"
Me: "ah! Now I see your problem. Your boss hired a consultant to find out the time but what the company should have done was hire a recruitment consultant to recruit a new chief exec!"

Of course the recruitment consultant was needed much lower down the hierarchy but I refrained from telling the loser because it wouldn't have been much fun sitting next to him for the rest of the journey!

Enjoy!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device